


Inhale. Exhale

by VisionaryGalaxy



Series: A Thousand Futures of Me and You [15]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sad with a Happy Ending, supportive boyfriends, trigger warning: panic attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 10:27:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15947474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisionaryGalaxy/pseuds/VisionaryGalaxy
Summary: Some experiences, some lives are too heavy for one man to bare. Luckily Stephen is not alone.*Mind the tags please.





	Inhale. Exhale

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [【授翻/奇异铁】Inhale Exhale/呼吸](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16904937) by [Clover_cherik](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clover_cherik/pseuds/Clover_cherik)



> I'm back with a middle ground of fluffy angst?  
> *Uploads will be every other day from now on :)

   Breathe, just breathe.

   _Inhale. Exhale._

   Stephen had woken drenched in a chilly sweat, heart beating a rapid rhythm against his chest, body tense in anticipation of the next painful blow. His entire body felt ill, achy and sore as though it had just run the course of a debilitating fever. The bed beneath him felt damp and uncomfortable, the dark allowing for horrific images to swim up before his eyes.

   Stephen forced them open as wide as they would go, his instincts telling him to turn the light on. A glance to the other side of the bed showed it was empty. Relief, tangible and strong helped his body relax as he realized Tony wasn’t there. The man was likely to still reading, looking to calm his mind.

   No longer worried about waking someone Stephen sat up quickly, ignoring the nausea that rocked him, and flicked on the bedside lamp, gratefully taking in the familiar surroundings of his bedroom at the Sanctum. It had been Dormammu his bright violet eyes boring into his mind, his baritone voice grinding at his ears, swimming behind the lids of his eyes.

   The nightmares had become less common since Thanos and the battle, his dreams otherwise occupied with more immediate terrors. But since the aftermath had been swept up, lives returning to some version of normality he found himself sinking back into old haunts. On some other level he knew why, understood the difference of then and now. The one fear that might keep him from being able to do it again should the need arise.

   Stephen pressed the palm of his trembling hands to his eyes for a moment, appreciating the way the sting helped ground him for the second he could take it, reminding him that he wasn’t in that world any longer. He was so tired, hadn’t been sure since Titan if he could continue on this way. Every solution to major threats had ended in sacrifice for him, and while he didn’t regret it, couldn’t given the millions of lives he had saved, some small part of him felt so very hateful at this world.

   “Stephen?”

   His whole body jerked at the quiet inquiry, knew he looked a mess, all pale, damp and shivering. It suddenly felt like far too much, his whole body going leaden, so he didn’t even feel strong enough to lift his head. So, he didn’t and within moment the mattress sank to the side under Tony’s weight.

   “Are you alright?” That concern was breaking Stephen’s heart. He wasn’t used to it, that feeling of being loved, of being cared for, it was but a distant memory to the hundreds he lived with Dormammu. When he came back he had craved a gentle touch with a yearning that left him feeling hollow, but since meeting Tony he had it in droves, and still it wasn’t enough.

   So, without a word, forehead still pressed against his knees, Stephen allowed himself to reach out blindly toward Tony, who latched on to his hand instantly, his other rubbing small circles on his back.

   “Tell me.” It wasn’t a command, Tony was far to familiar with this to ever dare. No, it was worse, his voice was pleading, desperate. Like Stephen, that helpless feeling must be eating him alive.

   “I don’t-” he broke off, detesting the waterlogged voice that tried to croak out. The tears the came unbidden to his eyes at the attempt.

   “Hey, its ok Stephen. It will be ok.” The soft warmth in voice made him look up finally, something reminding him that this was Tony. The same man he had coached through similar trauma after Titan, the same one that held his trembling hand every chance he got, the one that called after every mission to make sure he was ok. The man who cared about him in ways Stephen wasn’t sure he would ever wrap his head around.

   Tony offered a little sad smile, leaning back against the headboard he opened his arms, “Come here.”

   It was all he had to say, and Stephen was pressed against him, face buried in his neck, arm around his waist, trembling hand tugging uselessly at his shirt for want of other distractions. The moisture remained in his eyes, but it didn’t fall. Something about feeling the warmth of Tony’s body against his, the pulse thrumming at his cheek, held off the echoing despair that had tried to breech him from the nightmare. They sat like that in silence for several moments, until one of Tony’s hands came up to grab the one that had been gripping his shirt.

   “Let me help, I owe you that much.” He whispered.

   A shiver went down Stephen’s spine, remembering all the nights he had held Tony in this very position until he drifted back to sleep, until his mind found a sense of calm. “I don’t…I don’t know how, I want to tell you about it but…I just can’t.”

   Tony nodded, the movement rubbing his head and Stephen tried to think of explaining Dormammu, but still it just felt too big, too personal.

   “You know,” Tony began conversationally, “Sometimes I dream of Atlas.”

   Stephen frowned, his attention on Tony now, “Atlas? Like the Titan?”

   “Yes, the one that holds the whole earth on his shoulders.”

   “I know the story,” Stephen found himself relaxing more fully into Tony, happy to have anything to occupy his mind, “He and the others were overthrown by the Gods and as his punishment he was left to carry the weight of the world, or let it be destroyed.”

   “Hmm, I always wondered why he didn’t just drop it. It would be spiteful, maybe. But he must hate the Gods enough to do it.”

   Stephen felt his eyes blur for a moment, mind drifting off a little, “He couldn’t, they made it so that was an impossibility. A true punishment.” He paused, feeling a light kiss being pressed to the top of his head. “I don’t think he would do it anyway.”

   “Why’s that?” Tony asked quietly.

   “Hope, it makes people do crazy, horrible things.” Stephen whispered. “They gave him one small escape, if another willingly takes the burden, he could be free. Wouldn’t you want to live to see that day?”

   “More then you know, love.” Something about his tone drew Stephen’s attention. It was kind, understanding, a little hopeful maybe, and a whole lot attentive.

   Stephen felt a loosening in his chest, his breath coming a little easier where he hadn’t realized it was still tense.

   _Inhale. Exhale._

   “You know,” he swallowed thickly. “Sometimes I dream about a being named Dormammu.”

   “Yeah? And who’s that?” Tony whispered, a hand squeezing his gently, an arm encircling his body, a silent promise of safety, of comfort.

   “It’s a very long story.”

   “I have all night,” Came Tony’s reply, not pushy, open.

   _Inhale. Exhale._

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you this one was enjoyable! Not my best work but its been on my mind for awhile :)  
> Uploads will be every second day to account for the ridiculous amount of work I have, and the recent inspiration to write a novel that's been in my mind. I want to thank everyone who has hung around so far for my uploads, it has meant the world to me guys! I don't plan on slowing down ;)


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